Promoting Intimacy and Positive, Healthy, Consenting Adult Sexuality

Discussion of my Intimacy Interests vs. What Macho "Real" Men Do - Not My Bullshit

To learn how other men differ in their views, I thought some comments received attacking my interest in intimacy would be useful as well as responses for others that appreciate my intimacy reporting.  Yes, some men think that my ideas on intimacy is just a bunch of BS and they get rather vocal in expressing their superior macho "real men" views. I think this is a good study of our culture and differing views so I include it as part of my social research interest.

As Vampyr said:
Dave - Are you kidding me!!! What kind of reviews are these?? Just the facts - these are not ethereal experiences - Christ - you are paying money for this - it is not "intimacy"!! Your comments seem to indicate that you are beyond the mere pleasures of the body - the rip roaring screwing that only two completely uninhibited souls?? can share!! SEX IS GREAT!! REAL MEN LOVE REAL SEX!!
Vampyr, I suggest you practise what you preach. Everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion and who are you to judge what others like or dislike about Dave's posts. Everyone has their own style of writing and Dave's style is an entertaining change of pace for me. Not every guy is after the wham bam thank you ma'am experience. Sometimes we just want to be intimate without the heavy breathing. 
Dave, thanks for coming up to the Great White North all the way from Phoenix. We all very much appreciate your cosmic insights and can only ever hope to become as confident and skilled at caring touch as you are. Peace, and please keep up the great literature. 
Oh damn it Dave, now you've let my secret out of the bag too. Aye, you're right about the hand massage. It drives some of the ladies absolutely bonkers. Others couldn't care any less and usually those are the ones that don't do intimacy. If you get a chance, go and visit Invisible Touch and see Angela, Demi, Vanessa or Jessie. Those four are really nice ladies and can be intimate with the right kind of guy. 
Dave in Phoenix Posted 
Glad to meet others that know these secrets. For those of us looking for intimacy the response to simple hand massage is also as you suggest a good clue to their overall intimacy response in a very non-threatening way. 
I found your writings to be informative and interesting. Particularly, it was nice to know that I am not at all unusual regarding my enjoyment of giving sensual touch for reasons other than a cheap feel or simple arousal.
Hi Dave. I don't want to burst your bubble but....... I do know at least one of your reviews much better than you and I have seen her several times. Guess what??!! I am not trying to pick a fight with you bud, but trust me, I know of what I speak. If you are truly seeking intimacy, as you suggest, it can only be found in a very long term mutually caring & giving relationship. One where trust, respect and mutual responsibility and sharing transcend a one hour session at an MP or a couple of dances with an exotic dancer!! Don't kid yourself, but then again, to each his own!! Trust me, I won't visit your site!! One thing you should acknowledge, once she is done with you, she moves on to the next guy and does as much, BS's as much about his "hot touch" or more with him and takes his cash too!! Sorry Dave!! Reality!!!!
Vampyr I agree with you. It is all about money, the girls want to make money and empty your pockets. Forget all the b/s about: Oh baby I like you......Oh your hands are so nice to touch......Oh i like the way you massage my body........OH i have never met anyone like you before......It is all b/s......They want your money and that is the bottom Dave don't behave like you are God's gift to strippers and massage ladies, because you are not,,,,,,they want your money and will say anything for you to become poorer. Dave I think you are dreaming in a fantasy world.........Wake up Bud before you declare Chapter 11 bankruptcy................Hahahahhahah
Poor Dave's getting a beating here (just kidding) 

But then I was wondering too... 

I've read all your reports here and for the life of me, I cant figure out just exactly what you mean by "intimacy response scale". Since you're not into digital play, or even tit-kissing, the two critical factors depending the mileage of the girl in strip clubs, It should be ok for you to describe in very details just what you do and where to the girl and what's her reaction is, right? 

It also seems to me that you'd get a girl for one song and expects her to "response"?, kind of "least for the most" ? 

Girls giving lap dances want to get you to do as many songs as she can. Like you mention some girls dont even remove their clothes in the first song! 

If the girl seems to "response" right off the bat, isn't it possible she's faking it to get you to continue for more dances. 

Like the guys say in the above messages, they are all for the money, and money is everything and the ONLY thing! 

Have a nice and safe trip home. And Happy holidays to every one.
Dave in Phoenix replies 
If you haven't seen more of my ideas and reports from many other cities at I understand exactly how some of you feel about my "intimacy response scale". When I started posting in earliest reviews I think I discussed this more but don't repeat on each thread. 

I believe two people even in a paid sexwork situation can have a sincere caring and intimate interaction that is more from the soul than just a physical exchange. And it can be a sincere paid human relationship for the moment with no "falling in love" or having to be long-term. It is more "standing in love' choosing to sincere love that person as a person in the moment with an emotional short term attraction without the emotional need to make it long term, understanding it is "rented" or for the moment, yet can be real between two people. It is more my definition of GFE for the moment. 

Yes, some of you don't believe this and just thing its hogwash. I don't blame you. But others realize there is a human component to sexworker interactions that we enjoy more than just the physical. And so many dancers all over the world, perhaps they are all just lying, but tell me how they miss the type of physical yet non-sexual intimacy I enjoy sharing. Many have told me they wish their boyfriends had similar good touch skills. I am not trying to brag but encourage men to consider learning more non-sexual intimate touch skills and I share how many sexworkers (not all) are so receptive to such intimacy. 

As Vampyr says: " I won't visit your site!! One thing you should acknowledge, once she is done with you, she moves on to the next guy and does as much, BS's as much about his "hot touch" or more with him and takes his cash too!! Sorry Dave!! Reality!!!!" 

Yes, I agree its a business but in which there can be more a personal interaction. You have no interest in my BS. I get that. But many others, especially in E-mails, very much relate to my ideas, which again I share for those that are interested, not for those like you are SAFE, or others, that just don't relate to such nonsense, which I understand and respect. 

To TC: 
Yes I have often said I am not seeking the same "high mileage" you and many others are. I seek what is meaningful for me, a short term for the moment responsiveness to the type of intimate touch I enjoy sharing with different women. I have enjoyed such response from Thailand to Victoria, use to be extremely popular at some Phoenix strip clubs before new law made even hugging illegal. I discuss some of my Phoenix experiences on which of course many of you have no interest in reading. I have enjoyed the same interactions all over the world and ESPECIALLY had good response by many (not all) dancers and massage gals in Toronto after experiencing my "reverse" for like 10 minutes. Also have enjoyed some great "verbal intimacy" with some discussing issues they are interested in. I had two that gave me personal contact information in fact, wanting to meet as friends not a customer, next trip without any suggestion of that on my part. I keep it as a straight business relationship unless they ask otherwise. 

You say: "Girls giving lap dances want to get you to do as many songs as she can. Like you mention some girls don't even remove their clothes in the first song! " Yes I realize and report those that don't score high on my intimacy scale and just a tease, just as openly as I share my experiences as those that do. 

You wisely say: "If the girl seems to "response" right off the bat, isn't it possible she's faking it to get you to continue for more dances." 

Try this. Give a dancer a nice hand massage before "your" dance while waiting for the next song. Nicely just hold her hands. Try giving her a back massage. Take her face in your hands (if she is open) and stroke her face and massage her temples. Are you that surprised I often get a good response? And I enjoy doing it. 

I also am very up front before even agreeing to a dance, that I am "cheap and only good for one dance." I only change my mind if she is exceptionally intimate in her dance which is not shaking her butt in my face, hard grinding, getting me to lick her tits, or showing me her pussy. That is tease not intimacy in my view. It is very interesting the very different types of dancers I get. Often the way I touch/ hold them makes them "melt" and do the more intimate positions, enjoying my massage, including nice breast and upper pec massage I enjoy doing etc. Again this not what many of you seek. But I know some do from the E-mails I get. I am doing reviews based on my weird interests and intimacy fetish rather than the usual high mileage interests you have 
Dave is full of many silly ideas. Asian girls don't prefer older men at all! What a giggle. Oh yeah, they love balding guys with beer bellies, hairy backs, sagging butts... He believes what the girls he's paying are saying. True, traditionally asian girls tended to marry older men, not because they prefer it, but because by the time the guy is older he's got money, a payed for home, a career, he's less demanding sexually- no four hour romps, and also they really treasure the younger girl etc. Or so my experiance living in Taiwan with a Chinese wife has taught me.
This guy Dave needs to go back to Phoenix and stay there. He proves every Canadian stereotype on Americans. Boring, long winded and very stupid and gullible. To imagine that any dancer actually cares about her customer enough to warrant an "intimacy response.. whatever" is simply ludicrous! Strippers are sitting, or grinding, there with you thinking about how much money they can scam off of you and where it is going. Not how much they are enjoying their time with you. The fact that you thinking otherwise shows your ignorance as well as your self-standing. Considering the fact that you go around taking notes in a notebook proves that you have no social standing, or self worth. Do you honestly have nothing better to do with your time but hang around strip-bars, taking notes and thinking just how sneaky you believe yourself to be, because no one is aware of the face behind the moniker? I think most of the guys would agree with me when I say to you, "We don't care for your reviews, and do not want your opinion.".
Dave, Just checking out some boards up here in T.O. Canada, and reading all the wanker's negative feedback comments towards you. Personally, I'm new to this scene and don't like to talk on the boards, but was happy to get feedback like yours online about what goes on in these places. I've been toying with the notion of going to Vegas to see the various houses, but now I realize that there is no real reason to go, if not for a vacation; cause I can get just as much fun right here.

I suspect I'm kind of like you, it's not that I couldn't get a girlfriend, it's just that I'm quite focussed on my carreer etc. right now to find the time that one woman needs to keep her happy.

Anyway, don't take the opinions of a tiny percentage of people to heart.......
I enjoy reading Daves posts, be it long or short postings. I take what I feel is legitimate and sincere from his posts and disregard the rest. Remember, this is one persons opinions/experiences from which will vary greatly with individuals. You do not have to read every single post on this board as it does not only have to apply to you in particular but to the many others that visit.
Dave, I visited the 'sexwork' site for the first time and particularly enjoyed your research into sensual touch with dancers. From your posts on various boards I have always figured you were in an absolutely fascinating line of work!

I found your writings to be informative and interesting. Particularly, it was nice to know that I am not at all unusual regarding my enjoyment of giving sensual touch for reasons other than a cheap feel or simple arousal. In fact, part of why I enjoy the Runway is that over the years I have come to know one of the ladies relatively well. Without consciously knowing it, I have used some of the techniques you describe when she dances for me. 

I think next week I will consciously put those more refined suggestions into practise with 'my favourite girl' and wait to see what she says or does. She is a sweetheart to begin with so far as personality goes as I have learned from hours of cumulative time spent just talking and over a few, normal dinner dates.....but oh.....when she dances for me and I touch and caress her, it always seems to drive us both crazy!
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